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Attracted to Males...Resisted So Far...Help!

The following was submitted to Islam Online's Cyber Counselors, and their reply is below.

I am in a real dilemma at the moment. What I am going to ask you has put me into hours of thinking and hours of guilt and depression. I am a muslim male teenager who is attracted to males. I have not AND I REPEAT HAVE NOT tried to have any type of sex. I have resisted the temptation to go and have this experience but i always managed to keep myself away. But again the problem is these thoughts and strange attraction I have had since I was about nine. I do not know why I am like this.

I am very concerned at the moment about two things: 1) I am afraid one day my will and resistance will fail, I dunno what might happen to me then. 2) I just cannot stop feeling guilty just because of the idea itself. I pray and try to keep myself busy with sports and study a bit; and then there are those moments when you think. I also pray. What has stopped me from doing any sinful thing is the fear of Allah, but i do not know if I am currently a sinner or not for having these thoughts. I thought it might be a test from Allah and the harder I resist this devilish temptation the more I will be rewarded. I am still young and I have a long way to go. I really need an answer to all these thoughts I am going through.

Before we begin, we would like to re-assure you that you are not alone for having these thoughts. Shaytan suggests evil thoughts to all of us and the best among us are those who seek refuge in Allah (Swt) from shaytan the accursed. Do not be mistaken, homosexuality is a major sin. It is forbidden in Islam.

Now, you must realize something here. There are many teenagers who have been tempted by shaytan. Unfortunately, they did not have the will power to resist and followed the suggestions of Shaytan. They have committed sins and in doing so have won nothing but the displeasure of Allah (Swt).

We do not want you to take lightly the current will power that you have to resist your feelings towards other males. You have been under the protection of Allah (swt) so far. When you write that it is only the fear of Allah (swt) that keeps you from carrying out the suggestions of shaytan, it is indeed a testament to the protection that Allah (swt) grants to whom He wills.

You are right. Allah (swt) rewards us for rejecting shaytan's suggestions. The more shaytan tries to deceive and misguide us, the stronger we have to be. You have done a wonderful job thus far of trying to resist and we make du'a that you will continue to persevere.

In terms of trying to cope with the actual feelings, we suggest that develop a response pattern that can help you. Be alert as to when and where you are when these feelings come to you. Is it only when you are alone? Is it when you view television? Is it due to reading certain books or magazines? Do you just have feelings of emotional attachment to males or do you feel sexually aroused? Try to stay away from the sources of such excitement or arousal to the best of your ability.

Try to keep the company of pious Muslims. If you are in college, try to find some Muslim brothers who are strong in their faith and develop a friendship with them. One of the ways to keep from doing what is forbidden is to be in the company of those who are righteous. They do not have to know about your feelings, but it is better for you to not let yourself be alone such that you could be tempted to act upon your feelings.

Do your best not to be alone with men as sometimes shaytan has the ability to suggest to you the friendship of another evil person be he Muslim or not. We have the case of a young man who had homosexual tendencies and only acted upon them for the first time when another Muslim confided in him about his own homosexual tendencies.

Prepare yourself for marriage as soon as possible. Allah (Swt) and His prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) have encouraged marriage as it allows for, among other important things, the satisfaction of our sexual desires in a lawful way.

Seek refuge in Allah (swt) dear young brother. Continue to pray and be in constant remembrance of Allah (swt).