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Discussion with Papa Abu

As Salaamu 'Alaikum My Brothers:

I pray all is well with you there. Alhamdu lillah for your noble effort of your website. I myself had wanted something of this nature for so long, but lacked the computer savvy to make it happen.

I had tried to start something of this nature over a year ago by posting a YahooGroup, but as I said, lacked the know-how to get it out and proceed. Below you will find what I had posted as I tried to establish it.

I have reviewed your site and love it a lot. I pray Allah uses you and us to help it be a benefit for many. I would also like to help. I would like to do an advice column or something like that.

It is my experience in da'wah that in most cases it has a more lasting effect and makes a deeper impact when that person can connect with someone who is of a like nature. No doubt the people need to know what is clear from Quran & Sunnah & what the Scholars say, but unless and until they communicate with someone who has walked a mile in their shoes, many will make excuses that will not hold water.

Since I was what i would have called a "bi-sexual" before reading that article on your site, I think I can bring a unique perspective and insight for both those who are struggling with the problem of same-sex attraction and for some of your scholars you have connection to.

Your Bro. in the Struggle
Papa Abu 

To: gay_muslims_going_str8@yahoogroups.com Subject: 2 B or Not 2 B Gay? I 've Been There As Salaamu 'Alaikum: Feeling guilty about the things you do? Wondering if you were just born this way or how come you are this way? Some people telling you that all gays are going to hell and you're wondering why or is it true? You are reading some books or sites online & they say it's OK if you're Muslim and gay Allah still loves you and you are wondering if it's true or not? But oh how you would love for it to be true, right? Well I've been there! In my 40 plus years of life and almost 30 in Islam I've felt all of that and then some. There was times I wanted to just die. There were times I wanted to know why Allah even let me know about Islam. I could have just been happy being a "well adjusted Christian bi-sexual male. However Allah had a better plan. Islam is the truth and the light: the complete way of life that Allah wants all people to live. Make no mistake about that and don't let shaytan (as he will try to do) shake your iman because of your sexual desires. It has been hard for me over the years never having anyone to talk to about my feelings, struggles or problems of wanting sex with other men and teen boys. Al hamdu lillah Allah gives guidance and protect those who want to be protected. Ask and you will receive, even if it's after some time, but you will receive if you don't give up asking. Come tell us about yourself, how you entered into the gay world (your 1st experience) and share your struggles now. Let's help each other. PaPa Abu

Wa 'alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullah,

First of all I thank Allah because your message filled me with great happiness and relief. May He reward you for taking the time to write to us and give us encouragement that is always needed!

Let me tell you a little about myself. I have been observing the phenomenon of "Gay Islam" for a while now, and becoming more and more frustrated at the lack of understanding shown by all people that I came across. The "gay Muslims" didn't understand Islam, the other Muslims lacked knowledge about Islam's position on sexual attraction, and even the scholars seem to be 'missing the point' in some ways.

Eventually, I felt almost forced to do something in Ramadhan 1423/2002. With so much rubbish available out there, somebody had to work for the truth in this area. I see that you have had similar intentions, but now here is an opportunity for you insha'Allah. You're right, opinions of scholars are important, but not the whole story. We need people to give real insight and inside perspectives. This must be done within a proper Islamic framework as opposed to the pseudo-Islamic piffle being propagated from certain quarters.

Your message above is really beautiful and I think you could be of great benefit to our work. An advice "column" is a great idea, although I'm not sure that's what we need right at this moment. What would be great is if you'd write some articles explaining your own experiences, how you dealt with things, what gave you inspiration, what advice you would give to others, etc. - especially if you can make them fit in with the general flow of the website. Feel free to disagree with me if you like, I am just someone who is learning and trying to understand what my brothers and sisters are going through.

I am promoting the importance of not being caught up in the false ideas and terminology of un-Islamic thought. After reading my first article on the issue (more are to come), do you agree with what I say about not self-identifying as "gay/bi/straight"? I am very keen to hear more from you soon!

Mujahid Mustaqim, 31 Jan 03