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He Seems Like a Normal Boy!

This is an excerpt from a submission to Islam Online's Cyber Counselors. The reply below is ours.

A while ago I found out that one of the Muslim brothers that I know is gay. Before I found this out, I had an argument about this subject. I told him that I was against it completely. I called gay people "sick minded", "ill" and "abnormal" and so on. He did not attack back, he was defensive. Two days later I find out and to tell you the truth I felt so small, even though I know I am right. The way I handled it was wrong I was rude and mean and he was not.

After talking to him about this subject for hours I gained respect of him, not because he was gay but because the way he talked to me. He told me about the way people treated him back in his home country. I felt bad and sad. No one should face these things even if they were wrong. People should deal with it in other ways. They do not have to be violent.

Female from Saudi Arabia

This story brings to light an extremely important (and general) concept: the need for wisdom (hikmah) in dealing with people. No matter what a person's belief may be, or what sins they have committed, our own conduct with them must show the excellence that is Islam. We must try to understand why they believe what they believe or do what they do. Once we have an understanding, we can use this to teach them in the most kind and appropriate manner.

It is easy to generalise and call people names, and it is easy to fly into a rage and condemn people - but it is much harder to think carefully and choose the wisest words. This is the challenge we face as Muslims, with a weighty message. If our manners repulse others, then we are not going to get very far.

We must always remember that every person was born on al-fitrah (the natural, pure state of being) and could return to it any time through repentance. No matter what a person believes or does, he or she deserves respect as a human being and deserves to be shown the mercy of Islam.

Mujahid Mustaqim