|
The
Philosophy of Marriage in Islam
Dr.
Yusuf Al-Qaradawi
Just
as Islam aims at rearing a righteous individual, being the
cornerstone in the social structure of the nation, it also seeks to
establish a sound family, the prime and essential factor in building
a good society. It is never disputed that marriage – that unites a
man and a woman in solemn matrimony – is the foundation that gives
rise to the family. There is no way a real or proper family could
ever exist out of wedlock, the way that has been legislated by
Allah, Exalted be He.
Perverted ideas opposing the institution of marriage:
Throughout
the ages, humanity has come to learn of ideas and trends that oppose
the idea of marriage. In Persia (now Iran), before the advent of
Islam, there emerged Mani’s philosophy, which claimed that the
world abounds in evil, that it should be exterminated and that
prohibiting marriage is the fastest way to effect this goal.
Under
the banner of Christianity appeared extreme monasticism that
denounces life, calls to getting incarcerated in monasteries and
prohibiting marriage, because woman, they held, is a cause of
temptation and a devil incarnate. Venturing near her is in itself a
sin that corrupts a soul and alienates one from heaven.
In
modern times, there exist in the West pessimists who totally
condemned woman, describing her as a serpent, with a soft touch but
deadly venom. They further claim that marriage offers her the golden
opportunity to place man under her thumb and shackle him with
responsibilities. So why should man, out of his own free will,
choose to place those chains around his neck though he was born
free?
Unfortunately,
some of our contemporary youth have been fallen prey to those
perverted ideas, and thereupon decided to refrain from marriage that
entails endless responsibilities, obligations and restrictions.
They, on the other hand, wish to live their entire lives as children
shouldering no responsibilities. If overcome by desire or the call
of their instincts, vicious adultery will certainly quench their
thirst in lieu of lawful marriage.
The objectives of marriage in Islam:
a) According
to the divine laws and norms, nothing can ever perform its duty
single-handedly. Allah meant everything to be in need of another of
its kind, so that one would complement the other. In the field of
electricity, positive and negative poles need to be in contact so as
to induce an electric current, which in turn, yields light, heat,
motion... etc. Likewise, electrons and protons should be in contact
inside an atom. In plants, pollen grain carrying male gametes
fertilize a flower's stigma to produce more plants, fruits and
seeds. Male and female animals have to be in contact in order to
reproduce. The Glorious Qur’an highlights this universal law in
the following two verses: “And all things We have created by
pairs, that haply ye may reflect.” (Adh-Dhariyaat: 49) “Glory be
to Him Who created all the sexual pairs, of that which the earth
groweth, and of themselves, and of that which they know not”
(Ya-Seen: 36) In response to this law, Allah, Exalted be He, has
legislated a sublime tradition for a man and a woman to be united in
such a way as befits the lofty status of human beings, namely
through marriage.
Allah,
Exalted be He, has inculcated in a man's heart a longing for a
woman, and in a woman's heart a longing for a man. Each of them is
driven by a far more exigent need than hunger or thirst. Each of
them senses a definite emptiness in his or her life that can only be
filled with their union, according to the divine laws, namely via
marriage. Only then does stability replace confusion and reassurance
does replace anxiety. Each of them finds in the other serenity, love
and mercy that light their lives and enrich their souls. The
following is one of Allah's glaring signs in our universe, which the
Glorious Qur'an points to: "And of His signs is this: He
created for you helpmeets from yourselves that ye might find rest in
them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed
are portents for folk who reflect." (Ar-Room: 21)
b)
Reproduction is the natural outcome of marriage. It serves to
prolong man's existence, thanks to the pious progeny that succeeds
him. This is thus one of Allah's bounties which He grants man
saying, "And Allah hath given you wives of your own kind, and
hath given you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and hath made
provision of good things for you. Is it then in vanity that they
believe and in the grace of Allah that they disbelieve?” (An-Nahl:
72)
It
is also for this reason that Prophet Zachariah (peace be upon him)
supplicated to Allah saying: "And Zachariah, when he cried unto
his Lord: My Lord! Leave me not childless, though Thou art the best
of inheritors,” (Al-Anbiyaa’: 89) and “Lo! I fear my kinsfolk
after me, since my wife is barren. Oh, give me from Thy presence a
successor who shall inherit of me and inherit (also) of the house of
Jacob. And make him, my Lord, acceptable (unto Thee)." (Maryam:
5-6) Similarly, Abraham (Ibraheem), the father of the Prophets
(peace be upon him), prayed to Allah saying: "My Lord!
Vouchsafe me of the righteous.þ So We gave him tidings of a gentle
son.” (As-Saaffaat: 100-1) and “Praise be to Allah Who hath
given me, in my old age, Ishmael and Isaac! Lo! My Lord is indeed
the Nearer of Prayer.” (Ibraheem: 29) The Glorious Qur'an
describes the slaves of Allah, the Most Gracious, as such: "And
who say: Our Lord! Vouchsafe us comfort of our wives and of our
offspring." (Al-Furqaan: 74)
It
is due to reproduction that the nation grows and multiplies, makes
use of its potential and manages to combat its enemies. Few would
suspect the fact that multitudes and masses of people are to be
reckoned with when considering world power. Allah narrates what
Prophet Shu`aib (peace be upon him) told his people saying,
"And remember, when ye were but few, how He did multiply
you." (Al-A`raaf: 86) Further, Prophet Muhammad (peace and
blessings be upon him) says, “Get married (and reproduce) for I
will boast of your large numbers in front of other nations (on
Judgment Day) and do not lapse into Christians’ monasticism.”
(Reported be Al-Bayhaqyy on the authority of Abu Umamah, and it is
mentioned in Al-Jami` As-Saheeh (a collection of authentic Prophetic
Sayings, no. 2941)
Reproduction
serves to preserve the entire human species all around the globe
until the point when life comes to an end. Allah, Exalted be He,
says, "O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who
created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from
them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women."
(An-Nisaa’: 1) and "O mankind! Lo! We have created you male
and female, and have made `you nations and tribes that ye may know
one another." (Al-Hujuraat: 13)
c)
Marriage consummates one’s faith, spares one looking at other
women, enables one to preserve his chastity and offers one a lawful
means to satisfy his sexual desire. Adultery is, therefore, no
longer an option. That is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be
upon him) spoke of marriage saying, "It spares one looking at
what one should not, or lapsing in adultery." He (peace and
blessings be upon him) also says, "If Allah grants a Muslim a
righteous wife, this helps him preserve half of his religion
(faith). He should, therefore, fear Allah as regards the other
half." (Reported by At-Tabaraani and Al-Hakim, and Al-Mundhri
states in At-Targheeb that it is an authentic Hadith with a good
chain of narrators)
d) Not
only does marriage help a Muslim preserve his faith, it is also the
indispensable pillar of worldly happiness which Islam encourages its
followers to enjoy so that nothing would distract them from the
ultimate goal of uplifting their souls and attaining high degrees of
spirituality. Imam Moslem reports that the Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him) said, "The whole world is pleasure, and
the best pleasure of the world is the righteous woman.” þThe
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is also reported to have
said: "Four things bring one joy: a righteous wife, a spacious
house, a pious neighbor and a comfortable riding animal."
(Reported by Al-Hakim, Abu-Nu`aym and Al-Bayhaqi)
e)
Marriage is the sole means of establishing a family, the nucleus of
society. No respectable human society could ever exist, if not based
on the family. Shaded by the close relations of motherhood,
fatherhood as well as parent-child and siblings relations, warm
feelings of love, altruism, mercy, care and cooperation are
instilled in a Muslim.
f) Social
relations are bolstered with the aid of marriage, whereby scope of
family expands including his in-laws and his children’s aunts and
uncle. That way feelings of amity, love and social closeness extend
to include more and more people. Allah meant relations by marriage
to be just as strong as kinship relations. Allah, Exalted be He,
says, "And He it is Who hath created man from water, and hath
appointed for him kindred by blood and kindred by marriage; for thy
Lord is ever Powerful.þ" (Al-Furqaan: 54)
g)
Marriage matures a man’s character through the responsibilities he
has to shoulder, as a husband and a father, and similarly matures a
woman's character through the responsibilities she has to shoulder,
as a wife and a mother. As we have just explained, many men refrain
from marriage simply because they wish to live as grown-up children
with no ties to bind them, no house to unite them or
responsibilities they are to undertake. Such people are not fit to
live; they are good for nothing. Marriage is thus a strong
commitment and a shared responsibility between a man and a woman
since their first day together. Allah, Exalted be He, says,
"And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over
them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty,
Wise.þ" (Al-Baqarah: 228) "Men are in charge of women,
because Allah hath men the one of them to excel the other, and
because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So
good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah
hath guarded." (An-Nisaa’: 34) The Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him) says, "Everyone of you is a guardian and
responsible for those in his charge; the man, in his home, is a
guardian and responsible for his household; the woman, concerning
her husband's property, is a guardian and responsible for what she
is entrusted with." (Agreed upon Hadith) The Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him) also says, "Man would be committing a
huge sin if he were to ruin whomever he supports." (Reported by
Ahmad, Abu Dawood, Al-Hakim and Al-Bayhaqyy on the authority of Ibn
`Umar) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) further notes,
“Allah shall ask every guardian about what he has been entrusted
with, whether he preserved or ruined it.” (Reported by
An-Nasaa’i and Ibn Hibbaan on the authority of Anas). He (peace
and blessings be upon him) also says, "One's spouse is entitled
to certain rights.” (Agreed upon Hadith, reported on the authority
of Ibn `Umar)
h) Having
got married, a man can focus on perfecting his work, reassured that
there is someone back home who disposes of his affairs, preserves
his money and takes care of his children. He can thus do his job
properly. This stands in sharp contrast to another whose mind is
preoccupied and who is torn apart between his work and home, his job
and the burden of securing his food and clothes back home. A poet
formerly said, "Should there be no wife under one's roof, a
man's house will never prosper."
|
Cheap Reseller Hosting 
